


The War

by Farah2002



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, First War with Voldemort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 05:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15924026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farah2002/pseuds/Farah2002
Summary: "So who is the spy? Lily is a muggleborn, Remus is a bloody werewolf who tried to live a normal life among wizards, Peter is a half blood and too coward to be a spy, Longbottoms just had a baby... " says James, his voice raising."I don't know!" Sirius cuts him, "I don't, okay! But can you, please, once in your life, not trust just everyone? "Some random shots of James and Sirius trying to deal with the War.





	The War

Sirius is lying in James's bed, making sparks shoot out from his wand from time to time, and idly making a constellation of stars above his head.

"How different, do you think, things would have been if I got sorted into Slytherin?"

James looks up from the newspaper he has been reading -people are dying, disappearing, and being tortured on daily basis, and they cannot do anything because they are too young.

"Why are you thinking about this now?" James asks, folding the newspaper and putting it aside. He moves from the desk to his bed, taking Sirius’s arm and stretching it out, using it as a pillow instead of the real thing half a foot away on the bed. Sirius shakes his head, not saying anything. James knows by now how to pull Sirius out of his broodings, so he replies honestly, after thinking for a moment.

"I think many things would be different and some of them would still be same, maybe."

"Like? "

"Well, we wouldn't have become animagus, but I think you would have still left your family, but maybe you wouldn't go to my house, and my fantasy of killing your family would never have been fulfilled."

"We wouldn't even be friends." Sirius says casually.

"Well.. we could have been." James says as Sirius snorts, "I thought you were pretty cool," James continues, "maybe I would have followed you in Slytherin, you were sorted first, weren't you?"

Sirius laughs. "James, you hate Slythrerins, we wouldn't be friends."

"You are underestimating my impulsiveness Mr. Padfoot, and even if we wouldn't have been in the same house, I think we still would have been best friends." James says, "I am telling you it was love at first sight."

Sirius laughs and leans in to kiss him.

"I saw Regulus today." says Sirius a few minutes later. "He was standing with a bunch of wanna be death eaters." he sighs and continues, "I thought about going and talking to him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I am afraid he won't listen to me, or that it's already too late."

James grimaces and hugs him tighter, but doesn't say anything.

* * *

  
Sirius hates going on separate missions. The Order was not sending couples on the missions together, which is an insult to all of them because Sirius is certain they can perform better when they don't have to worry about their other half not being with them. It's not like it's their job or anything, they are choosing to fight the war, at least they should be able to die knowing the other one is safe and not at home waiting for them to come back alive.

Sirius comes back from the mission with Moody a little later than he was supposed to, because the old man kept taking different routes just because he was paranoid. He hasn't sleep for almost 30 hours, and he just wants to go to bed and sleep with James for a long time. When he apparates back to apartment after giving details to Dumbledore, he finds James sitting on the dining table with two coffee mugs in front of him.

"Hey!" says Sirius. Face lighting up, James turns towards him, pulling him for a kiss.

"How was the mission?" asks James pushing the other cup towards him as he sits on the chair next to his. Sirius shakes his head and sends the mug flying back to the kitchen.

"Boring without you, as usual." says Sirius. James gives him a grin which doesn't reach his eyes.

"Where are you going?" asks Sirius noticing his own jacket on James.

"With Prewett brothers, remember the death eater quarters we found back in January?." replies James with a sigh.

"But I thought that mission was cancelled." Sirius says with a hint of anger, frustration and helplessness. Last time James went to this mission he had to spend three days unconscious on the hospital bed. Two other Order members had also died on that mission.

"Yes, it was but Dumbledore thinks it's important for the Order, so we have to go again. Actually I am a bit late, I was just waiting for you to come back." says James getting up and pressing a kiss to Sirius's forehead.

Sirius hates this part as much as he hates going to missions without James. Because saying Goodbye means acknowledging that it's real, maybe it's the last time they see each other, maybe they'll never be able to kiss each other again.

Sure they'll joke about it later, when it's not in the moment, saying Goodbye becomes just a memory and they are together again like always, it's just a scrape they got into and out of, just another mission, an attempt to defeat the enemy. A close call, a tale of adventure. But at night, they'll sleep even closer, trying to calm themselves by listening to each other's heart beats.

"I love you." says James kissing him again.  
Sirius thinks 'love' is not a strong enough word for them, it's just so common and said too much, what they have and what they are to each other is too deeper and complicated to put into words. After years of fooling around, they finally realized there was no-one else they could be with but each other.  
Still he replies, taking a deep breath and trying to manage a smile.

"Love you too, Be careful."

James presses one last kiss on his lips and disapparates, leaving Sirius to wait for him.

* * *

  
"Si?" James calls when he hears the door opening but Sirius doesn't come to the kitchen.

"What happened?" he asks when he sees Sirius sitting on the couch, but he has that look on his face—that steely look that always makes James want to kill people (preferably Sirius' Parents) or do whatever it takes to fix it and make everything all right again, because it’s Sirius and he deserves happiness.

"Si?" he calls again softly and sits on the coffee table in front of Sirius taking his hands in his own.

"Si, Sirius, look at me, and tell me what happened." James tries to say in a calm tone. Sirius's eyes focus on him abruptly , and his expression starts to crumble into miserable and helpless ones.

"Reg," he tries to say and his voice comes out rough, "he died."

James moves to sit beside Sirius and wraps his arms around him, without bothering to even say anything false like 'It's going to be okay.'

"It's not like I thought we would make up, it was always me, I was the one who would make a mistake and get punished by our parents, he always obeyed them and he was always the safe one and I just…." his voice trails off, as tears start to roll down on his cheeks. James just hugs him tighter.

* * *

  
"James! " Sirius almost panicks when he doesn't find James in the house.

"I am here." comes a low voice from James's previous room at his parent's house. Sirius takes a deep breath and opens the door.

"What are you doing here?" asks Sirius softly. Managing a small smile he goes to sit near the window pane beside James. James gives him a small smile, which doesn't last long.

"Nothing." replies James intertwining their fingers together.

They sit in silence for a few minutes. Since James's parents got ill, he has been very quiet, shutting everyone out, and today after their death Sirius is more worried about him.

He also loved James's parents more than his own. But James is just learning to grieve, they are the first people he has lost. Sirius knows what it's like to lose people, but James doesn't. He is still the same teenage boy who believes in fairy tales and happy endings. He still thinks that they can win the war without losing too much.

James and their other friends, are Sirius's family and he doesn't even like to imagine his life without them, especially James.

"It's not like I didn't know that they were going to…you know", James cannot bring himself to say 'die', Sirius tightens his hold on his hand.

"I have known for weeks and I even went to meet them this morning and I told them that I love them, but it still doesn't feel enough. I have been preparing myself for this for weeks but I don't think I am ready yet."

Sirius hugs James, pressing a kiss to his head, as James sobs into his shoulder.

* * *

  
"So you are saying we should not trust our friends?!" James almost shouts.

They already had many fights abour this topic. And apparently they are going to have one again now. James doesn't want to fight, but Sirius is not understanding that they are never going to win if they don't trust their own friends.

"That's not what I am saying, James, I am just saying that you should be more careful, you cannot trust just anyone." says Sirius in a tone which means that he has said the exact same thing many times before. "Dumbledore says there is a spy among us, you know what happened to McKinnons, I can't lose you like that."

James knows that Sirius is right too, but he doesn't want to believe it. Since his parents' death, he knows he is being reckless, and he doesn't want to be that person, doesn't want to make Sirius put his own grief aside to comfort James. But still he can never not trust his friends.

Hell, James was there when Marlene died. She was on a mission and her family was in the hiding, only the Order members knew about their location. She got a message from her younger brother and went to meet them where she was found dead a few hours later with her entire family.

"So who is the spy? Lily is a muggleborn, Remus is a bloody werewolf who tried to live a normal life among wizards, Peter is a half blood and too coward to be a spy, Longbottoms just had a baby... " says James, his voice raising.

"I don't know!" Sirius cuts him, "I don't, okay! But can you, please, once in your life, not trust everyone? You can't just go alone to the Alley without telling anyone because bloody Mundungus thinks people there are in danger." Sirius says in a raised voice, "You cannot end the war alone, James."

James pulls at his own hair, and goes out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

  
"Stop worrying James, he will be okay." Remus tries to comfort him and Peter nods along. Beside him, Lily passes him a smile. They are sitting in the lounge in Potter Manor where the Order's meeting took place today.

"He was supposed to come back five hours ago, he is not picking up his mirror, and you are telling me not to worry?" says James in a disbelief.

"Dumbledore will tell you if he is in danger." says Peter.

"When are we not in danger nowadays?" says Lily in a bitter tone.

"Exactly", says James, "and Dumbledore is not even telling me where Sirius is because he thinks I'll do something and I swear to Merlin I..." he cuts off when he hears a 'pop' outside, indicating that someone entered through the wands around the house. They all take their wands out immediately.  
James' heart skips a beat, through the net curtains he spots a dark shape moving towards them in a strange, almost drunkenly pattern.

"Shit," He swears running outside, hesitating as the dog moves slowly, like he was dragging himself forward before stumbling.

"Padfoot!" he kneels in front of him. "You need to change back, Pads. I can't see if you are seriously injured or just exhausted when you're like this." he says running a hand over the dark, wet fur.  
Padfoot pushes his nose into his shoulder, suddenly shifting back into his boyfriend and collapsing against James with a strangled cry.

James wraps his arms around his best friend to prevent him from falling down.

"He's hurt," Lily's alarmed tone makes James glance down, his stomach clenching as he sees the injured form of his best friend in his arms.

Sirius is a mess of blood and bruises and James is certain there are more injuries hidden underneath the clothing, based on the blood soaking them.

"Fab...and Gad.…they....dead…I…" Sirius tries to say.

"Shh, we'll see them, let's get you treated before." says James starting to heal his wounds. Maybe it's selfish to treat Sirius first and not listening to him. Not maybe, it's definitely selfish. But James cannot bring himself to care about anyone at the moment except Sirius.

* * *

 

"So the war has officially ended." says James as he goes to sit beside Sirius on the stairs.

They have been living in the Potter Manor for a few weeks now since the attack on their apartment. Things had got worst in last few months. The members of the Order could be counted on fingers now. There have been many close calls for them too, escaping at the last moment, when they could be dead if they even moved a few millimeters.

"Yeah, Lily called." says Sirius with a sigh. looking at the flowers Mrs. Potter loved to plant. James holds one of his hands in his own.

"It just seems anti-climatic, you know, we have been fighting for years and the world is just going on and on about The Boy Who Lived." says Sirius.

"Poor kid." says James.

They just sit in silence for hours, trying to believe that The War is really over, and they made it out alive. Things will not go back to normal, or maybe for them, the things were never really normal, but they are going to start a new chapter now. Trying to fight their own battles which the War left for them, coping with the changes that it brought. 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it.


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